UPDATE: I wrote the following  years ago. I've since finally got my drivers License back in Texas, in 2000. I've still never had another traffic ticket nor accident. ONLY two in my whole 58 years of life.  BUT boy were they Hell. My daughter is doing great, going to college and has a new baby boy.  I have a great man in my life now.

Those terrible years in Shasta County, Calif. will never be forgiven, nor forgotten.  I share them here, to help wake people up to the facts of what really goes on and how we all need to pay attention.  I don't want your condemnation, pity, nor sympathy, I do WANT your outrage at an organization that can influence our "public employees" to the point that this type of injustice can occur.

I've updated the old stats from FARS, the ones they don't let you see anymore, thank goodness, I saved copies on my own site... and have put them Actual 1995 .Actual 1996 Actual 1997 these have links to all the state data as well.

MY old story follows, just as I wrote it, I thought about cleaning it up and all that, but somehow it would take away from the honesty of it. So, after you read it, would them lying about the stats to get the lies on the books, enacting laws based upon those lies, using those lies against you, and you being forced into impossible situations as a result, piss you off?  IT SURE DID me.

MY HORROR STORY:

Question: Judy WHY are you picking on these MADD people when they are doing so much good for people?

I believed that they were doing good for people also, even six years ago, (April 4, 1992) when I got my first DUI (at age 45).

My daughter (six years old at the time) had just been molested by her grandfather (my father) a short time before that, I had just sent him to prison, the stress and strain from months of exams, court etc., were finally over, I was on Welfare as a result of the trauma and constant emotional, physical drains upon myself and daughter. We were alone in a New town without friends, nor family to help see us through the ordeal. It was very distressing, I wrestled with the question of whether or not I should prosecute him for over three months, it was NOT an easy choice to make. I had not seen him in over 15 years, we had a falling out over something entirely different and went our separate ways. I had decided to "forgive him" and allowed him back into my life, what a fatal mistake! Its a long story, but the D.A. had several other "complaints" filed by other mothers of little girls, enough to fill three sheets of a legal pad! They hadn't prosecuted him for any of these during the years he had been in the area, the reason was not to become crystal clear until just recently. They were to "busy" arresting Drunk Driverss, because they could make "money" for the county from them, child molesters don't PAY well!

I moved into this house on April 1, 1992, shortly after his sentencing, finally a home where I could start my vermicomposting business and have a life. I had a roommate with two daughters about the same age as mine, that would be helping me with the rent, utilities etc., that offered to watch my daughter while I went out to a bar to get away from it all and have some fun. (which is something I didn't normally do, and has resulted in over 6 years of pure hell).

I played some pool, drank a few bottles of Michelob and felt like the "bad was finally behind me" I could finally get on with my life, start my vermicomposting business and had gotten a "bad" person off the streets..

I received my first "ever" moving violation that night, in over 30 years of NO accidents or tickets. I didn't endanger anyone or hurt anyone. My alternator had gone out and I didn't realize it, when I came out of the bar to go home, the battery was dead. Some people gave me a jump (I just thought that I hadn't turned the lights all the way off, the switch stuck sometimes). Anyway the pick-up died about 1 mile down the road, there was a CHP behind me, when the pick-up started missing, I slowed down to make him pass (I didn't know it was CHP, I could only see bright headlights in my mirror) I thought it was some "bad guys" screwing around with me, it was a four lane road. (I had known one of the CHPs from years before and wasn't on GOOD terms with him, he had wanted my house that was situated directly in front of his, but he didn't want to PAY for it, he wanted it to go into foreclosure, the well had gone dry and I couldn't afford a new one to be drilled! I had sold it to someone else, (for $700.00 and take over payments, just enough money for me to move on!) He turned it into a "juke yard". The CHPs wife had smoked pot with the man I had lived years with, I hated pot and had kicked him out over it and told her of my feelings ..all in 1986) He told me on the way to jail "Judy, I wanted that house real bad" at which time I ask him if his wife still smoked pot, he said "no, she quit a couple of years ago". So, I knew I'd had it!

No one else was on the road during the entire time. This was the beginning of over six years of pure hell with still no end in sight. They (CHP) left my pick-up sitting beside the road, instead of towing it, it took years for me to figure out why they were being so nice.. Because they had written on the report that it was "mechanically sound", when in fact they tried to start it and when it wouldn't start, they physically let it roll back, further off the shoulder of the road (it was a Datsun). But, I didn't know the law or anything then, so I called the courthouse and told them I didn't have money for an attorney, they said to just show up at the hearing and the Public Defender would be there, but in order to "get him appointed" you have to plead NOT guilty first. Which I did, I went to the Public Defenders office, when I spoke to her, she said that since I had plead NOT guilty, they would throw the book at me now! So while consulting with the Public Defender (I was on welfare, I couldn't concentrate on anything except the molestation, enough to get a job!) I told her that they had lied about the "mechanically sound" part on the report and some other things, she laughed and told me "everyone knows they lie, but what are you going to do about it, there are two of them and one of you", I can still hear those words, LOUD and CLEAR, indeed what was I going to do about it? I was told that because of my "attitude" I would get the maximum. (Yes, I did have an attitude, I was being forced to plead guilty to a bunch of lies!). I later was told that the "Judge" had a family member that was injured/killed by a supposed drunk driver, shouldn't he have removed himself from the case?

I plead guilty and I did get the maximum fine, time in jail, court costs, public defender fees etc. (although she (Public defender) never did even show up! IT was ironic, she was the same one that defended my dad against me, just a few months prior! SHE did a far better job for him than ME!) the maximum amount to pay to alcohol school etc.. my licenses was suspended, so I had to go to great lengths to get back and forth to the program.. I have a screw in my right ankle and a bad back, but I walked over 3 miles to the nearest bus stop, the heat so bad I thought I'd pass out, took the hour ride into town, spent my two hours there one week, and my 15 minutes there the next week, for six months, I especially remember one question the "group" was ask "What would be the sexiest clothes you could wear for your lover?" Never did figure out what drinking and driving had to do with that! My roommate had moved out so I had a real problem finding a sitter for my daughter, it was very difficult for me to "trust" anyone to watch her, plus not having any money, I was getting about $434.00 from welfare to pay my rent, utilities, the programs fees of $80 + and my fine, didn't leave any leftovers for cabs, rides to the program, or sitters, but I did it.

Did this stop, slow down or help my "NEW" drinking problem?

I had been a casual drinker up to this point, I had owned a couple of businesses, an upholstery shop in Texas, I did custom automobile upholstery, as well as re-upholstered furniture, I was part owner in a manufacturing company and owned a cleaning service that employed workers and specialized in commercial move-outs. I worked as a nuclear security guard, in 1990 (had been checked out by the FBI, Pinkerton agency and Nuclear Regulatory Commission, plus had a "pre-employment" all day physiological exam, which I passed all within the "NORMAL" range with exception of being "overly assertive for a female!" I guess if I had been a MAN that would have been normal as well!) (they don't let DRUNK nuts into nuclear power plants!) been bonded and all of that.. With this DUI on my record all of that was in the past.. never again...

I started drinking more, my home turned into a prison, my six year old daughter that needed counseling wasn't getting it, I didn't have the money to pay DMV the $100.00 to get my licenses back or the auto insurance back after completing the alcohol school.. my life was a wreck.. my welfare income wasn't enough to get me back legal and I was a nervous wreck each and every time I had to drive anywhere and kept my trips to a bare minimum.. looking over my shoulder and into the rearview mirror constantly, then is when I started braking my own life long rules, I started drinking a beer before I left home, it quieted my nerves enough that my foot didn't jump off the clutch! I was a nervous wreck! I had always been law abiding and it really went against my grain to "break the law", especially sober! My license wasn't actually suspended, I just didn't have the money to get it re-instated. The suspension had passed.

I got a second DUI about 18 months later (their treatment program worked real well for me!). I had become what they had said I was "a no good drunk with two DUIs." My home really turned into a prison then, again the maximum fines, maximum alcohol program fees. I couldn't go to the program until I paid the fines, the court wanted their money first. (Ended up being over $4,800.00) worth, with the assessment fees of $250.00 each when I didn't have the money to pay them in the first place, etc., then the warrants for my arrest started.. I grew more alcoholic and depressed with each passing day. What would happen to my daughter if they just showed up at the door and took me? Would the people she was forced to stay with do the same to her as my father? Who could I trust, certainly NOT the cops, judges, attorneys, WHO? I was forced to sell my Datsun, I couldn't afford the $1800.00 Ignition Interlock device, nor the $1,000.00 per year to have it "recalibrated".. even though my licenses was suspended, it still had to be installed even if I couldn't drive. I loved that little truck.. but was ordered to by the court another blow to a heart that was torn to pieces.

In 1995, after having 1 1/2 cans of beer (I know this because I only had three in the frig!), I had enough, my home was a prison, I had allowed people to stay here that I would never have been around before, they had a Drivers Licenses, I didn't.. I was desperate, I had walked with a bad ankle, bad back in 100 or more degree weather, walked in the wind, rain just to get food for my daughter and myself.. I couldn't take anymore, I don't know if it was a break down or what but I threw a bunch of things in my living room at the walls and wood stove, one of them was a kerosene lantern with kerosene in it, ( I honestly don't remember ever having filled it, it was a decorator type, and I didn't know it even had kerosene in it, it had been a gift) My ex-boyfriend had one like it, when I saw it, it was just "smashing" what reminded me of him! They say I got drunk and tried to burn my house down. I don't really remember I do know that I didn't have enough beer to get drunk! I know that I left and walked to the store and bought a 12 pack and sat in a field and drank a few cans of it.. When I came home I was arrested for Arson, the lady that I had allowed to live here in her and her husbands camper in the backyard, had told them (because she was drunk and mad at me, she tried to retract her statement the next day after sobering up, but it was to late) that I was trying to burn the house down because I wanted the insurance money.. the house is NOT in my name, NOR is the INSURANCE, she just assumed it was.. anyway I was booked with a $250,000.00 bail. They refused to lower it or  O.R.  me. The damage to the house was $3.00 in carpet (it had been used, I bought it for $1.00 per yard) and a few gallons of paint (arson investigator stated $200.00 MAX. damage)

AFTER the "arson investigator and D.A. found out that the insurance and house weren't even mine, and that I was renting, they stated in court that they just wanted for me to be "treated for my emotional and alcohol problems" (practicing medicine without a licenses!). The judge wasn't paying a lot of attention, he kept asking if they could "get me for anything else" he ask this several times and then stated "well I know what I can do, I'll put a restraining order against her that she can't return to the property", the D.A. stood up and said "your honor, that's where she lives!" the judge replied "you mean I can't do that either?" This is all on the court transcript.

So, first they don't do their job of catching, prosecuting child molesters, then they drive me nuts, then prosecute me for being NUTS. I spent 23 days in jail and plead guilty to a felony "endangering a habited structure". I got time served 23 days and 3 years formal probation. Now I had a Felony against me.. really good in less then 3 years. Program working real well. My welfare was stopped, my utilities were off, and my daughter had to fly by herself to my moms over 600 miles away. I came home to a cold, empty, smoked up mess. The fire had started at the wood stove and spread out about 3 foot, but the smoke had colored all the walls a ugly grey. (I finally got some free paint last NOV. 1997 and could finally paint them. (Poverty what a glorious thing!)

After I got out of jail I had to report to the Probation department, still couldn't drive to get there! MORE stress, just what I really NEEDED! Then I attempted suicide by moving my B.B.Q into the bathroom, putting some briquettes into it, locking the doors, lighting it and then laying down in the bathtub.. I had had more then I could take.. The phone started ringing and wouldn't quit, I started thinking that maybe something had happened to my daughter and maybe she needed me.. I finally got out of the tub and answered the phone, it was a friend that said he just thought he "had" to call me.. I hadn't heard from him in a long time. HOW many have been put into this same situation that didn't have a friend that called?

I quit drinking and allowing people into my life.. no men, friends, etc. NO one that could hurt me or my daughter, that was October 13, 1995. I've been sober ever since, because even though I had been a casual, once in awhile drinker before, I had become a "problem drinker" in less then 3 years after their "treatment program". SINCE I couldn't drive, I had to get sober and do it without the help of AA or anyone else. Still can't legally drive to go.. ironic...I thought they wanted me sober? I've called and ask about getting rides, but who wants to take on the job of hauling someone around for years? Once in awhile sure, but NOT forever. I received a death sentence!

My mom sold her house of over 65 years in Dec. of 1997 and was trying to help me, she paid "ALL" of the fines off, over $4,000.00 worth, she gave me her old mustang and I could finally get on with my life or so I thought, I was still on welfare with an income of $412.00 per month now, but there was light at the end of the tunnel, I had 18 months of "Alcohol school" to do but I could finally get a "restricted license" to attend it and start my vermicomposting business. I started the school and my business, the old mustang quit on me twice on the way to school, in the rain, so they charged me for missed classes, they wouldn't let you in, if you were late! THEN I had a terrible backache and even had to keep my daughter home from school (only day she had missed in over two years) to help me. I couldn't even get up from the sofa to go the the bathroom by myself, it took 20 minutes with her help to get to it and back.. I couldn't even go to the doctor, my restricted licenses was for work or alcohol program ONLY! I called Alcohol school, they said they didn't "take that kind of information over the phone" they charged me again for a missed class. Now I had the $62.00 per month (for 18 months ) to pay plus $45.00 for missed classes. I got behind, I was trying to keep up my auto insurance, electric and living expenses, plus buy gas and pay them.. I just couldn't do it. My business finally brought in $30.00 in June, I notified my worker, that I had finally gotten it going, etc. she started sending me "cut-off notices" and telling me to come down there, which I couldn't do, the temperature was well over the 100s and I just couldn't walk the three miles, couldn't drive because of the "restriction". Anyway, I got behind on my Alcohol school payments and had to quit, (they threatened to kick me out if I didn't pay them, after two notices, and being forced to pay them when I didn't have the money in the bank, cost $45.00 for bounced checks!) I thought it would be better to withdraw then to be kicked out.. They notified the court and DMV, so there went my restricted licenses again. There went my business, I couldn't drive back and forth to the bank, P.O or to pick up the "kits" that I was selling. The "PROGRAM works real well!

All of these years I believed the HYPE, I believed that I was part of that 50% that could have killed an innocent person, so I suffered the consequences.. and just tried to do the best I could to put it behind me.. UNTIL Sept 27th 1998. The day my restricted DL was suspended for another 18 months without ANY chance of getting it back.. Then I went to the MADD site, I looked at the numbers. Something bothered me about them, I checked the stats on the FARS (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) website. They were wrong, wrong by 100% per state per year.. then I became enraged. If I had known this I wouldn't have so easily "decided that I was a "bad" person" and would have fought for my day in court.. but I was TAGGED and I believed the same hype as 90% of the rest of the world..

That is WHY I took out after MADD, I have another 18 months of my home being a prison and my business being put back on hold. It seems the court house "found another fine for $788.00 and a $138.00 public defenders charge" AFTER I told them I wanted to PAY them all, so I could get them all behind me...and they have turned it over the State Franchise Tax board, they sent me a notice that they will attach my business, etc.. My understanding is that since I withdrew from the Alcohol program a warrant can be issued for my arrest now.. Great reward for staying sober for over 3 years and trying to do right!

I don't really know if I can stand another 18 months of this hell, not when a life for both of us was just around the corner, if I had had the money to "buy it". Seeing my daughters face crumble when she asks if she can take track and stay after school, or can she spend the night with a friend across town. NO, I can't drive to pick you up, still after 6 years, these are the only years that she and I will have together and they are spent staring at the walls, instead of watching her run track, sing in the choir, taking her to her first school dances, letting her play soccer or all the other things that she should be allowed to do, the things she NEEDS to do to stop feeling "different".

I don't have any friends that drive, they quite coming around years ago, when I had to ask them to take me to town so I could buy a months worth of food at a time.. I can't afford a cab to the nearest bus stop, over 3 miles away.. my nearest relative (that I claim!) is over 600 miles away. I have traumatic arthritis in my back and right ankle, so just walking to the convenience store half a mile away and back is a chore.. YES, I could move closer into town, but I have already "paid" more then enough, do I have to give up the only home that we ever had as well?

I haven't had any teeth for five years, I can't get to the dentist to get my dentures fixed.. so I don't eat right and my health is getting really bad.. Up until just recently my entire diet consisted of coffee and cigarettes. There again, before all of this I smoked less then a pack of cigarettes a day, when I quit recently, I was smoking well over two per day and drinking two pots of coffee. I got rid of the alcohol, but its replacements were killing just as surely. I ate very little, I was ruled by my nerves and nothing else, I sat and worried for days about how I was going to even get into town to deposit my check, get bleach to wash clothes and all the everyday living things!

I ask myself, DO I DESERVE THIS.. the answer is NO I don't. I have always been hard working and honest, I could (Have) gotten back any job that I have ever had, my bosses do everything they can to keep me, including putting me on "indefinite leave of absence". I don't steal, lie or use drugs (legal or illegal). I did come very close to what they accused me of "a no-good drunk that drank herself to death" but there is a God and he didn't let that happen.. He showed me that I had something to do, and that was to stop a bunch of vengeful, hateful women that use the death of their loved ones as an excuse to torment and persecute others that DIDN'T do it.. It is only by the "Grace of God" that the disease of alcoholism is put to rest, NOT by MADD, not by DMV and not by extorting over 5.6 BILLION dollars per year from families that are already paying in far more ways then money..

So now you know WHY I'm PISSED at MADD, they are a bunch of Hateful women that have stolen over 6 years of my life, my daughters life and our life together, that should have been spent healing from the attack on her, instead of fighting for our lives.. Yes I screwed up by drinking and driving both times, but haven't I paid enough when I didn't hurt anyone, the second DUI. I was driving 25 miles per hour in the fog and I touched the fog line! Question from my attorney "did she cross over the middle line or fog line?" reply from cop "No, but she touched the fog line with her front tire.. " all on the transcript! I didn't have $10,000.00 more dollars to give to the attorney for a "jury trial" so had to plead guilty on that one too. I guess its alright to drive drunk as long as you have the MONEY. There is far more to it then just this, this is the tip of the iceberg, it runs real deep...

But then MADD has made a whole LOT of money from their HYPE, they are ONE of the highest organizations as far as support and contributions.. both.. ALL BASED ON LIES...

If you supported them, I hope that you feel as outraged as I do. I'm just one of over 1.5 MILLION per year that is going through this.. and the program isn't working, they are making it worse!

If you have a similar story of your DUI experiences, send them to me and I'll post them here..

A person from AA said recently, we have a couple of members that were court ordered to come to AA and have stayed. QUESTION what happened to the other 1,499,998 per year?

I didn't want to have to tell anyone all of this, I just wanted to go on with my life and allow some healing time. I haven't been allowed to do that, my only option now is to fight, fight for my life, my daughters life and our life together and all the other "victims" of a organization that was MADD, hatful and had revenge in their souls and made the nation insane as a result.

Judy

FACTS

MYBusiness (that I'm losing) UPDATE: I did manage to hang on to it, or part of it anyway, check it out, see what a BAD person I really am.

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